Mick Wells

The Originator of this 'My Generation' Section IS: Mick Wells (61C) here reminiscing about

If you've never watched the above named (1958) film: it is about a Sergeant Grimshaw taking his last Recruit Platoon through Basic Training before his retiring from the Army. Well, in the Recruit Company of (1961) AAS Harrogate, B Platoon's Sgt. Pattison was retiring after similarly taking us --- and he also hoped to 'leave on a high' with Champion Platoon. Indeed, how could he fail with our Moss Snooks and Gav Spearpoint to back him up?!

Easy! We were hopeless; we did try but it never worked for us. An example was the room competition. We had a cunning plan. We were going to work all night, in shifts, polishing the barrack room floor. It would be the shiniest floor ever seen at Hildebrand barracks! We knew it had to be done undetected as rival room NCOs would stop us, so we decided that we would work by candlelight. Unfortunately, in that very dim light, we put on more of the greasy floor polish than we could ever hope to take off with the bumper. In the early hours of the following morning then, unsurprisingly really, the person laying the polish fell asleep --- knocking over the candle so that the entire floor erupted in flames! I leapt out of bed, grabbed Dave Waterhouse's towel (not mine!) and joined the others in beating the fire out. When the room inspection eventually took place, the Company Commander was fascinated by the shiny black floor and the avante garde mottled ceiling!!

Just before Christmas 1961, B Platoon marched up into Uniacke barracks .... into the fearsome, waiting arms of Sgt. 'Paddy' Mullen. He had heard about this bunch of misfits that were about to ruin his Champion Company. Second term is another story; one I'm seriously considering therapy to recount!

It must have been my second or third term at Harrogate. We were doing a full dress rehearsal for Champion Company Drill Competition. It was a very hot Saturday morning and we were really not in the mood for drill! A number of us had already 'lost our names' for 'bad haircuts' and 'Drummie' Hall had volunteered to stand in for the barber later that evening. I cannot remember who the CSM was that day, either WOII Izod or Furner but whatever; our drill was awful!

I noticed the Day Orderly Sgt (Paddy Mullen) glowering at us from the side of the square. However, since he wasn't carrying a pace stick I mistakenly assumed that he couldn't drill a Company -- so I blew him a mental 'raspberry'! After a sweaty and fruitless hour the CSM marched us off the square and, regrettably, handed us over to Paddy (who looked like he wanted to shoot us all) telling him to march us back to B Company lines. Instead though, Paddy marched us onto the back road, behind the NAAFI.

At first Paddy seemed lost for words and that was certainly a bad sign! First he started us off with his 'Pokey Drill' (a 'double time' drill he always used when he wanted each squad member to, as he put it, "concentrate the mind"!) We were zooming up and down the road, sweating blood, and the other Companies were watching from the NAAFI windows, laughing. I was more concerned about making a wrong turn and treading on A/T Sgt. Alan Lafferty's best boots, or indeed he treading on mine!

Sgt Mullen soon calmed down, fortunately, and eventually settled us into Company Drill (i.e. working at normal pace) --- and there was no finer Harrogate Drill Instructor in my time. After a few minutes I became aware, almost trancelike, that we were doing the finest drill probably ever seen at AAS Harrogate. It was absolute perfection which was probably why the A/T's at the NAAFI windows stopped laughing, instead silently watching with dropped jaws! Our 'Paddy' was actually smiling as he marched us back to our lines --- and even offered us an extra 15 seconds in bed at reveille next morning (a Sunday, remember!)

As for 'Drummie'? well, he lost heart after the third botched haircut that evening and returned to the Sgts' Mess --- and I think we were back to being "average" on the Drill Competition!!

Charlie appeared when I was in 7th term. He was an ex Royal Marine and had been in charge of the Rope Skills Demonstration Team at one particular RM unit. Indeed, it was he that built the rope walk in the trees at Uniacke barracks along the perimeter (back) road. Thanks to him I can still now, at 65, outclimb my grandchildren on a rope! Must admit though that I haven't tried to demonstrate my skills at descending upside down ... or without using my hands!

Nevertheless, my main memory of Charlie is triggered every time I see the 'Monty Python Show' sketch of John Cleese playing 'the PTI' in the "Attack me with a Banana!" sketch. Charlie Allen would occasionally stop normal PT, point at someone --- and then order them to attack him. I was the first in our squad to receive this 'invitation'. I remember the room spinning, a knee where it hurt most .... and the pain of Charlie sitting on my chest!

When I left AAS Harrogate I was posted to User Trials, with 30 Signal Regiment, at Blandford where we sometimes worked with the Royal Marines.

There would be little argument with the statement that the food at Harrogate was poor, to put it politely. The exception, of course, was on days when some dignitary or 'Brass' was visiting and then we knew the food would be at least passable on that day!

The exception for me though was a Tuesday teatime: Egg and Chips. However, after the first six weeks we had to do Hobbies. Trouble was - Tuesday night was Hobby night! This meant marching from Uniacke to Hildebrand, gulping down the food, then marching back to Uniacke barracks. There was just no time to savour the best meal of the week. During our second term I was asked to volunteer for the ONC (Ordinary National Certificate) course which was done by 'day release' at Bradford Technical College. This sounded like a 'good little number', being well away from barracks. Alas it was decided to do it in the Education Centre in Hildebrand barracks, tutored by Captain George Speight RAEC. Trouble was .... the evening course would be run on .... yes, you guessed it: Tuesday night!! Never volunteer! For the rest of my three years our group arrived late at the canteen, where food was supposed to be kept for us, to blank looks and a miserable fare of beans or spaghetti!

After our Graduation, four of us were posted to 30 Signal Regiment at Blandford Camp. At our first meal in their canteen, we gazed in wonder at the great food on offer .... cooked to perfection by the ACC. Naturally I had Egg and Chips. The four of us were getting 'stuck in' when the Orderly Officer and Orderly Sergeant walked past; the former coming out with the usual "Everything all right?" .... to be greeted by broad smiles and exclamations of "Fantastic, Fabulous!". The Officer walked on but the Orderly Sergeant did a 'double take' and suspiciously whispered to us "Are you 'taking the mickey' out of the Officer?".

Weeks later we were posted to 19 Signal Regiment at Changi. There the RAF cook asked me, "How you would like your egg cooked?". My first thought was, "Are you 'taking the mickey' out of the Lance Corporal?!!".

You'll all remember how, seeing your first posting, you grabbed the nearest Permanent Staff member and asked them what it would be like? Well, Gerry Bannister, Jack Carpenter, Roger Viney and myself were posted to 30 Sigs. Everyone at Harrogate we asked just burst out laughing! However, I had other things on my mind; I was getting married on the Saturday.

30 Signal Regiment at Blandford Camp was where they sent the people they didn't want or hopefully, in our case, those 'they' weren't sure what to do with!! Our SSM at Blandford told us to look busy and keep moving during working hours. Fortunately we four were flown to 10 Sigs on a six month secondment; Rog and I to Changi, Gerry and Jack to Kuching. That was the only time I ever practiced my trade! Col Piddington sent glowing reports about us from AAS Harrogate - reports that Lt Col Roper at 30 Sigs tore up in front of us and 'binned'. Why? We never found out. I did two years of basically fatigues at Blandford; painted tanks, trucks, cleaned floors, worked as Regimental Policeman and was part of the nuisance Quarterguards.

Then, at last came a posting, to the School of Signals at Blandford! I retrained as a Radio Relay Tech, did a driving course, 'blagged' my way through a T2, came top in the Cadre course (which was too easy for an ex Apprentice!) and made Corporal in 1968. Then I spent two years driving a 3 tonner, chauffeuring Officers on Exercises. The last years found me back at 19 Sigs at Amoy Quee to look after the Microwave system. I hadn't a clue what I was doing but (again!) kept moving and looking busy. However, it was a great posting socially; my family loved it. Towards the regiment's disbandment we found excuses to hold parties every night!

Unfortunately by 1972 I was far behind my peers and so weak at my trade, I felt it time to start anew. I took demob and worked for 18 months in instruments in BNFL (British Nuclear Fuels Ltd.). Then I switched to Rank Xerox, a home for retired ex A/Ts, it seemed!!! Richard Ross, Reg Jones, Brian Bingham, Roy Theaker, Dave Wily, Don Burns and an ex AT CSM you of C Coy may remember, Keith Truscott of Intake 59C. If you ever pass through Aberdeen, have a look in the rail booking office; he is still working there!

Xerox was 37 happy, hard years doing what I wanted to do. In 2000 I took early retirement although I soon went back, part time, as my wife's health had begun to fade. Sadly I lost her, Petra, in 2006. I had known her since third term at Harrogate; so it was a terrible time . Fortunately I have good family and friends around me. Meanwhile, I still keep busy as a part time 'gofor' for Xerox at Airbus at Chester.